I’d never heard anything so freaking loud in my life. It sounded like a bomb was going off right next to my ear a
bomb that pulsed to the beat of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Groggily I rolled over and picked my vibrating cell
phone up off the nightstand, glancing at the time before I answered.
Five o’clock in the morning.
“Hello?” I groaned.
“Sorry to wake you up, honey,” Mom said through the speaker. “I didn’t wake Casey up too, did I?”
“Mm-mm. You’re fine. What’s up?”
“I left the house about two hours ago,” she said. “Your dad and I had a long talk, but he didn’t handle it very well,
Bianca. I knew he wouldn’t. Anyway, I’ve just been driving around since then, trying to figure out what to do next. I’ve
decided to check into a hotel in Oak Hill for a few days so that I can spend more time with you, and this weekend
I’m gonna start moving down to Tennessee. Your granddad needs someone to look after him. It’ll be a nice place to
settle down. Don’t you think?”
“Sure,” I murmured.
“I’m sorry,” Mom said. “I should have told you all this later. Go back to sleep. Call me when you get out of school,
and I’ll tell you which hotel I’m in. Maybe we can go see a movie tonight?”
“Sounds good. Bye, Mom.”
“Bye, baby.”
I put my phone back on the nightstand and stretched my arms over my head, stifling a yawn. This bed, with its
cushy mattress and expensive sheets, was way too damn comfortable. I’d never had such a hard time getting up in
the morning, but I managed to plant my feet on the carpet eventually.
“Where are you going?” Wesley asked in a semi-sleepy voice.
“Home.” I pulled on my jeans. “I’ve gotta take a shower and get ready for school.”
He pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me. His hair was a mess, brown curls falling into his eyes and
sticking up in the back. “You can shower here,” he offered. “I might even join you if you’re lucky.”
“No, thanks.” I grabbed my jacket off the floor and slung it over my shoulders. “Will I wake your parents up if I go out
the front door?”
“That would be difficult considering they’re not here.”
“They didn’t come home last night?”
“They won’t be home for a week,” Wesley said. “And God knows how long they’ll stay then. A day. Maybe two.”
Now that I thought about it, I’d never seen another car in the almost-mansion’s driveway. Wesley always seemed to
be the only one here when I came over—which was pretty freaking often these days. “Where are they?”
“I don’t remember.” He shrugged and rolled onto his back again. “Business trip. Caribbean vacation. I can never
keep up with them.”
“What about your sister?”
“Amy stays with our grandmother when my parents are out of town,” he said. “Which is essentially all the time.”
Slowly I moved back to the bed. “So,” I said quietly, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “Why don’t you stay there,
too? I bet your sister would like having you around.”
“She might,” Wesley agreed. “My grandmother, however, is a different story. She detests me. She doesn’t approve
of my”—he made air quotes—“lifestyle. Apparently I’m a disgrace to the Rush name, and my father ought to be
ashamed of me.” His laugh was hollow and cold. “Because he and my mother are the staple of perfection, you
know.”
“How does your grandmother know about your, uh, lifestyle?”
“She hears the gossip from her friends. Old hags hear their granddaughters swooning over me—and who can
blame them?—and then they tell my grandmother all about it. She might actually like me if I’d date a girl seriously
for a while, but part of me just doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction. I shouldn’t have to change my life to suit her
or anyone else.”
“I understand what you mean.” And I did. Because I’d had that same thought a million times over the years.
Recently, it had even pertained to him. It would be easy to change Wesley’s opinion of me, to hang out with
different people or bring another girl into my circle of friends—like that freshman from the basketball game—to
avoid being the Duff. But why should I do anything just to fix what he or anyone else thought about me? I shouldn’t
have to.
And neither should he.
Somehow, though, his situation felt different. I glanced around the room, feeling stupid for even comparing it to the
Duff issue. Then, without meaning to, I found myself asking, “But don’t you get lonely? In this big house by yourself.”
Oh my God. Was I actually feeling sorry for Wesley? Wesley the womanizer? Filthy-rich Wesley? Wesley the
jackass? Of all the emotions I’d felt for him, sympathy had never come up. What the hell was going on?
But if there was anything I could relate to, it was family drama. So it seemed like Wesley and I had some stuff in
common. Ugh.
“You forget how rarely I’m alone.” He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at me with a smirk. It didn’t
touch his eyes, though. “You aren’t the only one who finds me irresistible, Duffy. I usually have an endless flow of
attractive houseguests.”
I bit my lip, not sure if I should say what was on my mind. Finally, I decided I might as well throw it out there. It
wouldn’t do any harm, after all. “Listen, Wesley, this may sound weird coming from me, since I hate you and all, but
you can tell me stuff if you want.” It sounded like something out of a cheesy G-rated movie. Great. “I mean, I vented
all of my shit about Jake to you, so if you want to do the same, well, I’m cool with that.”
The smirk slipped for a second. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then he cleared his throat and added stiffly, “Didn’t you say
that you needed to go home? You don’t want to be late for school.”
“Right.”
I started to stand, but his warm hand closed around my wrist. I turned around and found him looking at me. He
leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. Before I even realized what was happening, he pulled away and
whispered, “Thank you, Bianca.”
“Um no problem.”
I didn’t know what to make of it. Every other time Wesley and I had kissed, it had been a fierce, warlike make-out.
A lead-in to sex. He’d never kissed me in such a gentle, greedless way, and it kind of freaked me out.
But I didn’t have time to think about it as I ran down the stairs and through the foyer. Once I was in my car, I had to
speed—which I really, really hate to do—all the way to my house, and I still didn’t get there before six. That gave me
only an hour and a half to shower, get dressed, and check on Dad. What a fantastic way to start the morning.
Even better was the fact that I could tell the living room lights were on when I pulled into my driveway. Not a good
sign. Dad always—always— turned out every light in the house before bed. He treated it like a ritual. The fact that
he’d left them on was definitely a bad omen.
I heard the snoring as soon as I tiptoed inside and instantly knew he’d bought more beer. Even before I saw the
bottles on the coffee table or his unconscious form on the couch, I knew.
He’d gotten drunk enough to pass out.
I started to move forward but stopped myself. As much as I might want to, I didn’t have time to clean up Dad’s
mess. I needed to go upstairs. I needed to go to school. And as I crept up to my bedroom, I told myself that he
would be fine. He was just shocked, it would be fine, and this episode would pass without incident. I could hardly
hold a few drinks against the guy, considering the bombshell Mom dropped on him, could I?
I took a quick shower and blow-dried my hair (which always takes forever; seriously, maybe I should just hack all
my hair off like Casey instead of wasting my time) before putting on some fresh clothes. After I brushed my teeth, I
headed downstairs again and went into the kitchen to grab a Pop-Tart for the road. Then I took off, out the front
door.
By the time I got to school, the student parking lot was almost full. I had to park in the very back row and jog—with
my twenty-pound backpack—to the double doors. Of course that left me out of breath by the time I made it into the
main hallway. God, I thought miserably as I lugged my fat ass toward Spanish, no wonder I’m the Duff. I’m so
fucking out of shape it’s depressing.
Well, at least the halls were pretty much empty. That meant no one had to witness my patheticness.
“Hey, where’d you go yesterday?” Jessica asked when I slumped into my desk only seconds before the bell rang.
“You weren’t at lunch or in English. Casey and I were kind of worried.”
“I left school early.”
“I thought the three of us were gonna have a Valentine’s Day thing to celebrate that we’re all single.”
“That’s kind of ironic, don’t you think?” I sighed and shook my head, trying not to look into her big, hurt eyes. God,
she was good at making me feel guilty. And I knew I was going to pay for hanging up on Casey last night. “Sorry,
Jessica. Something came up yesterday. I’ll tell you about it after school, okay?”
Before she could say anything, Mrs. Romali cleared her throat and shouted, “Silencio! Buenos días, amigos.
Today we’re going to get started on the present progressive tense, and I’ll warn you now that it’s pretty darn
difficult.”
And it was. Mrs. Romali passed out a worksheet that kept us all busy until the end of the block. By the time the bell
rang, I was really starting to question my affection for Spanish class, and I wasn’t alone.
“Is it too late to switch classes for the semester?” Angela asked Jessica and me when we walked out of the
classroom.
“About a month too late,” I told her.
“Damn it.”
“Bye, Bianca!” Jessica called as they ran toward their chemistry class. “See you at lunch!”
I waved and started walking down the other hallway. Today, though, I was actually looking forward to AP
government. Toby Tucker had asked me to sit near him. I wouldn’t be the lonely girl in the back of the room
anymore. I’d never thought that would change or that I would be so happy when it did. What can I say? The selfimposed
isolation was finally beginning to bug me.
But Toby wasn’t there. His seat was completely, one hundred percent empty when I walked into the classroom (for
once I was way early, the way Mr. Chaucer liked), and my heart kind of sank a little bit or, you know, a lot. At least
I didn’t have to sit alone. Jeanine practically dragged me to the front of the room, apparently lost without Toby to
keep her entertained. She must have been disappointed that I wasn’t nearly as clever with political quips as her
usual companion. All I could offer were a few sarcastic statements about the usefulness of the judicial system. God,
I missed Toby.
So did Mr. Chaucer. He seemed to get bored with his own uninterrupted lecture, and he dismissed the class only
halfheartedly when the bell rang, his lower lip sticking out like a toddler’s.
And they say teachers don’t play favorites.
I was relieved to be out of that classroom, which seemed cold without Toby’s enlightening commentaries, until I got
into the cafeteria.
The lunch table wasn’t exactly a warm, loving environment that afternoon. Casey glared at me all through lunch,
obviously pissed that I’d hung up on her the night before. But apparently not pissed enough to skip out on meeting
Jessica and me after school to hear my excuses.
I’d promised to explain things after class. Of course, that meant the second the last bell sounded, they dragged me
into an empty bathroom and started making demands like “Spill!” and “Out with it!” before I could take a single
freaking breath.
I groaned and slid down the cold concrete wall to land in a sitting position on the floor. I hugged my knees loosely
and said, “Okay, okay. So Mom showed up here yesterday afternoon.”
“Is she back from her trip?” Jessica asked.
“Not exactly. She just came to talk to me. She and Dad are getting a divorce.”
Jessica clapped a hand over her mouth in shock, and Casey knelt down beside me, taking my hand. “You okay, B?
” she asked, abandoning her anger toward me.
“I’m fine,” I said. I knew they’d be more upset about it than I was. Casey, whose parents had gone through a long,
bitter divorce, and Jessica, who could never imagine something so upsetting and unhappy.
“Is that why you skipped out on Valentine’s Day last night?” Jessica asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry. I just didn’t really feel like celebrating.”
“You should have called,” Casey said. “Or said something to me on the phone last night. I would have listened, you
know.”
“I know. But really, I’m fine. It was just a matter of time. I’ve been expecting it for a while now.” I shrugged. “And,
honestly, it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, you know Mom hasn’t been around much in the past few years, so it
really won’t change that much. But she’s only in town a few days, which is why I need to be going right now.” I stood
up.
“Where are you going?” Casey asked.
“I told Mom we’d see a movie together this afternoon.” I grabbed my backpack and glanced at my reflection in the
mirror. “Sorry. I know you guys want to talk about it or whatever, but Mom’s leaving at the end of the week, so...”
“You sure you’re okay?” Casey asked skeptically.
I hesitated, my hand raised to brush some auburn waves from my face. I could have told them then. I could have
told them about Dad and the beer bottles and how confused I was. They were my best friends, after all. They cared
about me.
But if I ratted Dad out, what would happen? What if word spread? What would people think of him then? I couldn’t
handle that. Even the thought of my best friends judging him made me uncomfortable. He was my dad, after all.
And this was a small thing. He was just going through a rough patch. Nothing to worry about.
“Positive,” I said, turning away from the mirror with a forced smile. “But I should get going. I don’t want Mom to wait.
”
“Have fun,” Jessica murmured, her eyes still wide with innocent shock. Maybe I should have given her the news a
little more gently.
I was almost out the bathroom door when Casey called after me. “Hey, B, wait a sec.”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go out this weekend,” she said. “To make up for not hanging out on Valentine’s Day. We could all go to the
Nest. A Girls’ Night Out. It’ll be fun. We’ll even buy you ice cream.”
“Sure. I’ll call you later, but I really have to go.”
With a wave, I ran out of the bathroom. Yeah, I did want to see a movie with Mom, but that wasn’t the reason for my
hurry. There was something else I had to do first.
Once I made it to my car, I wasted no time in pulling out my cell phone. I dialed the familiar number and waited for
the professional male voice to answer.
“You’ve reached Tech Plus. This is Ricky. How may I assist you?”
I wanted to talk to Dad. To make sure he was okay and let him know we’d get through this. Just, you know, be
supportive. I knew he needed it. After the night he’d had, I knew he must be having a horrible day at work. Besides,
if I was dealing with the news so well, I could at least help pull him through it. “Good afternoon, Ricky,” I said. “Is
Mike Piper available?”
“I’m afraid not. Mr. Piper didn’t come in today.”
I sat there, stunned for a minute, knowing what that meant. But I shook off the worries creeping into my stomach.
He was just having a bad hangover after a rough night. Probably more than enough to remind him why he’d quit
drinking in the first place. He’d be fine tomorrow.
I hoped.
“Thank you, anyway,” I said. “Have a nice day.”
I hung up the phone and started to dial another number. This time a woman with a clear, chirpy voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mom.” I forced myself to sound at least semi-upbeat. If I was too happy, she’d know something was up. After
all, I just wasn’t the peppy type. “Still want to go see a movie tonight?”
“Oh, hi, Bianca!” Mom exclaimed. “Yeah, that sounds great. Listen, honey, have you talked to your dad today? Is he
okay? He just got so upset last night, and he was crying when I left.” By the way she spoke, I could tell she had no
idea he’d relapsed, that he’d touched a bottle. If she did, her voice would have been much more strained, full of
concern. Maybe even on the verge of panic. But she sounded calm. Only slightly worried. The fact that she was so
blind really bothered me. I mean, he’d quit drinking almost eighteen years ago, but still. The thought should have
crossed her mind.
But I didn’t want to be the one to break the news to her.
“He’s fine. I just got off the phone with him a second ago. He’s going to be at work late tonight, so a movie works
great for me.”
“Oh, okay. I’m glad to hear that,” Mom said. “What do you want to see? I don’t even know what’s in theaters right
now.”
“Me neither, but I was thinking a comedy would be good.”
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