Valentine's Day Jokes

My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."


I sent my wife Katie a Valentines Day card. It read;
"To my Katty,
I want to fill you in the way you filled my soul."
Fucking Moonpig, they got the K's and the F's mixed up.


My wife isn't that bothered about Valentine's Day today.
The fat bitch is too excited about pancake day on Tuesday to even care.


Last year, on Valentine's Day, my fiancée of five years bought me a lottery ticket and I won £6.2 million.
I wonder what she's doing nowadays.

Saudi text -
'Happy valentines day xxx'
Send to: Group: Wives.


From my handwriting identification skills, I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year.


Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!