MY COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY

UPDATE: Just a warning, PLEASE don't copy and paste this essay or summarize it in any way for your application. I actually received a few emails from admission officers notifying me of the similarities in the pieces they're reading. If this continues to happen, I'd probably have to remove this post (or else it will get taken down). As much as I hate to do this, this essay is just for reference to spark your own idea in writing your essay. So please keep that in mind.

*ALSO, I DO NOT REVISE ANYTHING OTHER THAN COLLEGE ESSAYS. IF YOU SEND ME YOUR SCHOOL/ESSAYS, I WILL NOT LOOK OVER THEM. Sorry, but I've been getting these essays continuously and I really cannot read and revise all of them.

**AND PLEASE DON'T SHARE MY EMAIL ADDRESS. I'VE BEEN RECEIVING EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO I HAVE NOT CONTACTED FIRST.

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As said in the video, I will be pasting my Common App college application essay of 2014 here. Thank you guys so much for trusting me with your essays and I look forward to reading more of them!

This is the essay question:

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

My response:

Every spring, my father would lift me onto his shoulders so I could smell the freshness of the budding cherry blossoms. Although the blossoms were still developing, I recall myself always eagerly asking my father to pick some flowers for me. Chuckling, he would shake his head and say, “A flower has to bloom before it can be picked. A flower that blooms in time is the most rare and beautiful of all.”

I didn’t understand the purpose of my dad’s message until after I took a summer job teaching ten middle school students algebraic concepts at Verona High School in New Jersey.

The room was silent when I taught the first class. The students either dozed or doodled; the atmosphere felt lethargic.

One student, John, faced me and mumbled, “It’s summer. Why are we learning algebra if we are not going to use it later? This is a waste of time.” The other nine students nodded their heads in agreement.

I laughed nervously and thought, “Teaching cannot be that hard. I can do this.”

I have never been more mistaken in my life.

I wanted to catch every student’s attention. I told jokes and drew pictures. Yet, the more I tried, the more frustrated I became. That’s when I remembered, “A flower that blooms in time is the most rare and beautiful of all.” And I thought I finally understood what my father meant. I felt as if I had completed the puzzle.

Despite my efforts, I could not force the students to listen, just as I couldn’t force a cherry blossom to grow. I had to flow with the current, not struggle against it. I learned that patience is the key to motivation. And so, I developed a game.

In this activity, a leader produces questions and answers while the participants perform silly tasks while competing to see who could answer the questions quickly and correctly. I played along as the students took turns being the leader. They thought it was humorous that they could order the teacher around with commands like “calculate the value of x while hopping around the room” or “find the average speed while doing pushups.” They enjoyed the competition, and I caught their attention and helped them gain a solid grasp of algebra in an unorthodox fashion.

A parents/teachers night took place during the last week of tutoring. At the conclusion, John's father thanked me for teaching his son algebra. He said, “John was so fascinated with algebra that he wanted to participate in a math league camp this fall.”

I gaped, but I resisted my immediate desire to say, “John did what?”

On the last day of summer, when I saw John at the Verona graduation party, the first words out of his mouth were, “Is there going to be a math class next year?” John was the budding flower that has finally bloomed.

As summer washes into autumn, the college season is in bloom. I recall my father’s words once again and frown. The puzzle I thought I finished this summer is missing a piece. It took a while until I finally realized that I was also a budding flower, and thus, the key to completing the puzzle. My work does not end with the students I helped achieve, the minds I helped broaden, or the roads I helped expand. One by one, as my students have found their paths to blossoming, I have yet to find mine.

I hope these next four years will be a fresh challenge for me, as I explore new intellectual paths and my mind continues to mature and puzzle pieces continue to fall into place. And next spring, after I wake up to the smell of cherry blossoms, I too can bloom a bit.

This is the video I'm making my response to:

Again thank you guys so much for your trust! Good luck with your college applications!!